Wednesday, February 14, 2007 @ 7:08 AM
my results arent super fantastic
but it isnt super bad either
just that i'm super duper upset that my dumb humans got a 4
i think i failed my history cos i think i did pretty well for my ss
SHIT KARMA LA
for the first time in my whole entire life what i studied for ss come out.
ALL of what i study come out
i have to fail history.
wth.
i dont even want to talk about pre getting result time.
zomg.
fucking embarrasing
but you have to understand how i feel.
i got to many shit smart cousin
11A1s wth
i'm not as smart as shirley jiejie.
-----
i dont know whether my father knows it anot
but he's making me feel super guilty
he didnt scold me about my result.
BUT THEN AGAIN, he doesnt scold us sbout our results, only my mum does.
i know his dissapointed, but at least he can show his dissapointment la
all he said was''poly not bad. dont look down on poly.''
i think he knows i'm upset when he heard me crying on the phone when i told him
but i still feel very bad la
like i let him down.
and so far, no one score as bad as me for o's before
among his siblings and colleague
and like i'm an embarrasement to him all those shit
and he didnt say anything
all he tell me is study harder so i can go university
omg. at that time i feel super bad la
like all along
my mum was saying how stupid i was
but my dad still hold on to that thought that i'm not dumb, but smart
and when he told me it wasnt to late to study in july when he fetch me to tuition
i told him to shutup cos hes spoiling my mood
and i told him how irritating he was
and all he say was ''poly is good''
omg. how can i not feel guilty
and you know whats the funny thing.
after a long long long time after i saw my results
after all those shit crying
and i thought i cooled down
and it was time for me to tell him
i on my phone and called him
and when he picked up and said ''yes?''
i started crying like a stupid bitch
and i told him i dont know whether i did bad or good.
and he was like'' i thought you're crying because you got 7As''
and when all my shit relatives called
and his friends called
all he said was ''hahaha. not bad la.''
and when i told him i want to go poly
he say ''poly good. go to ngee ann or singapore poly. the rest too far, you'll get very tired''
how can i not feel bad
like omg. daddy.
pls scold me or something
or else i'll feel super guilty.
DADDY.
i'm so sorry i didnt score well
and i let you down
but i promise that i'll do my best when i go poly
and go to the university
because thats the only thing you asked from me
---------
made my dad lost $50
and spent his tenbucks when i'm suppose to buy a new cashcard.
if only i had bought a new cashcard, his 50bucks will still be in his atm card.
i feel like a complete idiot
and all he said is ''why didnt you buy a new card''
and now he's trying to keep it from my mother
cos he know that my mum will kill me if she finds out
eh. 50bucks eh
no big joke okay
and the worst is when i called him during break to tell him that his cashcard he gave me ran out of money
that night he passed me a new cashcard
and topped up super duper alot of money inside.
how can i not feel bad
just weeks before i lost his 50bucks
----
apparently those ''aunties'' of mine has came out with a new way of telling me how dumb i am
''jorina. how come like that. your daddy very smart one leh. the smartest among all out us leh''
''why you never get your daddys genes''
''your daddy never scold you ar. NEVER AH?''
justFUCKOFFLA
-----
am going to poly.
when through a super dumb process to decide what i want to do
on friday, i was super sure i wanted to stay in mi to do science
and on sat evening, i thought np bfs is better
then on sunday night, i change to np acct
then on mon night, i though staying in mi doing commerce is better
than on tues i decided sp was better when i compare both school modules
and i kept changing so everytime when my father ask what i want to do
i tell him diff answers
and today i finally decided on np bfs
and i didnt talk to my mother much these few days,
cos everytime she open her mouth,
its either about my bad results
or me not going jc
hope i'll have a good time in poly
have no shit person to ask what poly's life like cos no one is in poly from my smartass family
yay me
for being the first one to go to neighbourhood sec school first and now poly
BOTH TIME FIRST IN THE FAMILY TO TRY SOMETHING NEW LEH
good a not
and pls. my family is so big that when you take family photo during cny
you cant see your face properly
so until now i still dont understand why they want the photo
maybe its just fun standing there to compare whos taller
or maybe its just fun to ''pile'' on each other and to squeeze together
CNY MAH
once a year.
squeeze for fun la